R2D2 is sad now.

After lockdown came to its end I decided that I’m going to move to Colchester to be nearer my muse. Not seeing each other for three months will do that for you and it seemed to encourage my romantic side. Of course announcing that I’m selling up, getting engaged no less, had all sorts of unseen consequences and the first one was that C3PO had to find somewhere else to live.


The decision came as a bit of a shock to R2D2 as he has always looked up to C3PO and, dare I say, he’s been quite influenced by him. Strictly speaking the influence C3PO has on R2D2 is because of C3PO’s behaviour, the late nights, the endless techno parties, the use of pirated software enhancements; R2D2 is rather impressed by this sort of thing which, of course, encourages C3PO and the two of them spiral into a cycle of degenerate behaviour and association with ne’er-do-wells, unsavoury elements within the night time economy and those on the fringes of society. Frankly C3PO is a bad influence on R2D2.

Although C3PO moving out was never my main intention I had wondered if the move might remove C3PO’s influence on R2D2. Of course the two of them are still in touch despite no longer being on the same WiFi and they do send each other messages, so R2D2 isn’t completely lonely. I’m now wondering if C3PO could still be supplying R2D2 with illegal patches as the internet is no barrier to that sort of thing. Humans can’t send an eighth of Moroccan Gold through the internet but for droids and cyborg, well, a network just makes it easier. I tried setting my firewall to filter out illicit software but C3PO just hacked it. As a human I’m out of my depth and I had to give up. So it seems despite moving ten miles up the road C3PO is still at it.


R2D2’s mood has been a bit low lately. At first I interpreted R2D2’s mood swings as him missing C3PO, he has good days and bad days but I’m beginning to suspect I’m witnessing the comedown when the patches inevitably wear off. At the moment he’s shut himself in the bathroom and is trying to console himself by plugging himself into the toothbrush charger and we know how that turns out. Perhaps, with your support, we can just keep an eye on him and hope we can support him through this difficult time.