There’s been a bit of an incident with R2D2 recently. He’d been unaware that there had been another Star Wars film, only really paying attention at the run up to Christmas when he’s become accustomed to being taken out on a few expeditions in preparation for his annual trip out to see the latest Star Wars blockbuster as we did at Christmas each of the last few years. However, when it came to the new film, Solo, coming out in May I thought twice about taking him and decided not to mention it to him. To be honest I’ve become a bit sick of his bahaviour when he doesn’t get his way. I know he plays the good guy but he can sometimes be as much trouble as C-3PO and, I know, C-3PO can often lead R2D2 astray but sometimes I wonder if it’s not the other way around.


So, when it came to the release of Solo I’d decided I was tired of taking R2D2 with me. Once a year is enough for me, after all he does insist on all those photos being taken with the guys at the cinema with his tickets and then there’s the restaurant where he always has one too many, and he has to watch some of the films again on TV before we go out and I’ve been busy rewatching the whole of Friends from start to finish so I’ve not really got time. R2D2 has been watching them with me and he agrees that they were on a break and what’s more Rachel completely refused to recognise how many times Ross had sacrificed himself for the selfish, spoilt bitch.

…Anyway, moving on. I decided not to say anything and not to write a blog about the trip to see Solo (he reads all my blogs you know so there’s no way of keeping secrets from him). In the end I decided to take C-3PO instead. Well, in fact I suppose you could say C-3PO took me because I think he was driving. Since he got that new red arm he’s a dab hand with the steering although I do have to bite my tongue when it comes to mentioning the speed bumps. Of course, I can hear you all responding that you can’t believe I decided to go with C-3PO and leave R2D2 behind. I know you all think the R2D2 and I are like best mates, and yes, we are, but sometimes you need to do something different.


But now R2D2 has found out and, believe me, he’s gone ballistic. He’s been storming around the house beeping and whistling things that you wouldn’t believe. I haven’t heard him behave this way since he discovered about the Star Wars conventions when we went to see Elstree 1976 a few years ago. He’s just been in the back room spinning around until one of his servos jammed and he flipped over. I think he might have done himself an injury but, to be honest, feck him, I’ll get C-3PO to look at him when he finishes whatever he’s doing with that Tor browser he was talking about the other day. I have no idea what’s going on in my house.